Close to a Coronary

Wednesday, July 13th: Woke up bright and early to meet Lily for breakfast at the EDR (Employee Dining Room). Went in our PJs and had atrocious eggs and semi-decent gravy biscuits. Did a whole slew of errands, showered at the dorms and said goodbye. It was so nice to spend time with Lily, seeing as though I assumed I'd never see her again. The only way to 90W is to drive through Yellowstone (a.k.a. slow speed limits, treacherous curves, migrating wildlife, and dim-witted tourists driving excessively large RVs). The road warrior inside of me almost had a coronary!

Driving through Yellowstone was surprisingly disappointing. First of all, compared to the Tetons, Yellowstone is utter crap. The overabundance of sulphur leads to an awful smell, as well as too many man-made roads and walkways. The years and years of forest fires has left Yellowstone's landscape looking like a pale, unshaven face--sickly or already dead trees everywhere. Between the overdone attraction of Old Faithful and the disgusting Disneyland-esque village in the park, hotels and amenities surrounding you, I guess this is where stupid people go to vacation. I just wasn't impressed at all. It took us 3 hours to go 100 miles and we finally exited Yellowstone.

I don't know where it came from, but I've had this building anticipation for Montana...it didn't disappoint me. Mountains in all directions, undisturbed, rugged and green. I'm already in love. Got tired driving, after the intense focus needed for Yellowstone and the gawking at Montana's geography. Jenna took over for about a 1/2 hour. I guess after 2,000 miles, I needed a break. Arrived west of Missoula and immediately got lost looking for the Outpost Campground. Upon finding it, we should have trusted our gut. Walked in and a Kathy Bates look-alike, in an office smelling of animal piss, took our money as she gave us a no-neck smile and told us to "camp anywhere." If you've ever seen the movie Deliverance, I shouldn't have to describe this place. Broken down trailers, dirt driveways, plastic lawn chairs, camoflouged trucks made us seek refuge at the Jellystone Camp down the road. These nice folks have a pool, hot showers, and mini golf. They said we should go get our money back from the scary lady and camp with them. Went back with a sham cover story and got our money back. Used it to buy our safety, piece of mind and a steak dinner.

P.S. It's extremely difficult to pitch a tent in Montana wind. Proceed with caution, heavy stones and extra tent pegs. And remember, a lop-sided tent askew is better than no tent at all!