A light at the end of this tunnel
There are those who let life happen to them and there are those who make life happen for them. I am the latter. I had a conversation this weekend with my friend Josh (one of the many Joshes I've known: a.k.a. Ballmer, DJ Baroque or BBQ) about me making the decision to take this road trip (which, of course, is in preparation for applying to creative writing MFA programs). He got me thinking about the idea of choosing how my life will move forward from Bowling Green, rather than just rotting here or waiting for the next best thing.
I'm at this point in my life where I've learned more about what I don't want than what I do. I know I'm sick to death of Ohio, I'm stuck in the wrong part of the country and I don't want this mid-Western life. I know I have one more, move-to-a-new-place-and-start-all-over set of energies left and I don't want to settle for what's easy and familiar (Pittsburgh). I can't count how many people I've talked to who never took that road trip, never tried to start over, never went out on a limb, thousands of miles away from their friends and family; and I refuse to be one of those people. This road trip is my light at the end of the Ohio experience.
When I initially broached the subject of going West this summer, my dad freaked about me taking my car ("You know that car has to last you ...") and my mom started, what I assume will be, a ("But it's so far away ...") guilt trip to end all guilt trips. I'm old enough now to be able to translate parent-speak: my dad is saying, "The thought of you eventually moving West scares the shit out of me, but, for now, I'll just focus on the mileage you're going to put on your car ..."; my mom is saying, "You know I love and support you, but we'll never see you and who's going to set the holiday table ...?" I hear them, but I'm not going to listen.
This is my life...
...and I'm about to make it happen.
I'm at this point in my life where I've learned more about what I don't want than what I do. I know I'm sick to death of Ohio, I'm stuck in the wrong part of the country and I don't want this mid-Western life. I know I have one more, move-to-a-new-place-and-start-all-over set of energies left and I don't want to settle for what's easy and familiar (Pittsburgh). I can't count how many people I've talked to who never took that road trip, never tried to start over, never went out on a limb, thousands of miles away from their friends and family; and I refuse to be one of those people. This road trip is my light at the end of the Ohio experience.
When I initially broached the subject of going West this summer, my dad freaked about me taking my car ("You know that car has to last you ...") and my mom started, what I assume will be, a ("But it's so far away ...") guilt trip to end all guilt trips. I'm old enough now to be able to translate parent-speak: my dad is saying, "The thought of you eventually moving West scares the shit out of me, but, for now, I'll just focus on the mileage you're going to put on your car ..."; my mom is saying, "You know I love and support you, but we'll never see you and who's going to set the holiday table ...?" I hear them, but I'm not going to listen.
This is my life...
...and I'm about to make it happen.
posted by Chelsea at 2:02 PM
3 Comments:
Dude,
Where are all of the comments? Are your friends just looky-loos?
Sorry, I'll comment, choosing...hmmmm
Different people have diff. choices in life, I can't tell you how easy it would be for to me to pack up and go somewhere better to dj, Go play with the big kids (yaknow)get away from the push play dj's and top 40 music drain, but the hard(work) choice is to stay and make my Boring Green/Toledo ohio a spot where other dj's want to dj a gig. And there are many dj's in the area that don't have that choice, be it kids, job or other real life hang ups, they know they must stay.
I think Chelsea has it right, a road trip to preview a new life!!! Your being very considerate to yer potential.
I'll chime in later... (2)
There are two gifts we can give our children. One is roots, the other wings. You have both, Chelsea Keefer. I am proud of you for taking a chance and stepping off the "proverbial" edge in the hope there is something there to step onto.
No matter where you end up, we will be there for you.
I love you, Mom
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